Category: dickhead

Sartorial Conundrums

His voice is so soft it could pollinate flowers

I see a lot of guys making the mistake to button your bottom button on a jacket. This button was designed to never be buttoned… unless you’re JFK.

Why you never button the bottom button from AskAndy

Why do men never button the bottom button of your suit, sports jacket, vest or Cardigan sweater?

King Edward VII, “Bertie”, son of Victoria (1841 – 1910, King 1901 – 1910) was so heavy that he could not get the bottom button fastened on his vest or to be more historically kind, maybe he just forgot. His subjects taking it as a fashion statement followed his lead and today most men’s suits, sports jackets or vests are not designed to button the bottom button.

The tradition of not buttoning the bottom button may have also come from the early waistcoats, which were very long. It may have been out of necessity of being able to walk that the bottom buttons were left undone.

Now you know to never make this brostake again.

Back to the Trust Tree

Look… we need to talk. Let’s travel to our nest in the tree of trust and understanding.

You still dress a like a complete and utter dickhead. It’s not that hard or expensive to look decent. The only key thing you need to realize when you’re buying clothes is that fit is everything.

1. The undershirt? Seriously again? I guess you gave up on pounding vaj and invested in a flesh light. It’s cool bro. Relax… put on your sweat pants, relax in your cool studio apartment (aka your parents basement), and catch up on all that anime.

2. That shirt is way too big. People of Wal-Mart would still have tons of room in that shirt. Why do you need all that space anyway? So you can have room to move while you practice with your nunchucks in Melanie’s front yard?

3. That’s a good idea for all that excess fabric pooling by your ankle. Most people don’t know about that growth spurt that happens after 24.

4. Those baggy pants look great. You need a lot of room in your pockets to hold all your glow sticks for when you hit up the raves they have at the Shriners Lodge.

5. If you added a tie to this outfit you would look like you were going to the high school homecoming dance.

Fit is King…

1. Check out the fit on this shirt. It’s not billowy like a blouse. It hugs and outlines the body without being constricting and tight. You can actually see that there’s a body shape.

2. Depending on your height can really determine the amount of break you should have around your ankles. A shorter guy would want little to no break to help make him look taller.

3. If your going to untuck a button up shirt the length is key. The untucked shirt should hit somewhere in the middle or higher of your pants zipper.

The undershirt

Ok bro… let’s get in the trust tree. That white undershirt you got on that I can see. What don’t you like about crushing pussy? It screams, “Hi. My name is Scooter and I enjoy breathing through my mouth”.

undershirt

Now to make sure we are all on the same page. Having your undershirt show like the above picture makes you look like a total utter dickhead.  If you’re going to wear your shirt open like that with an undershirt make sure to find one that doesn’t show or try what this guy does.